Category Archives: Listening

Do You Know Who You Are?

Take your basic inter­per­son­al con­flict as an exam­ple. The issue is the way she treats me or he treats me. Why does­n’t he or she treat me bet­ter? On the sur­face, it’s not at all about what I might do dif­fer­ent­ly, but what the oth­er per­son ought to be doing or not doing. This is […]

Leadership and Support

By “sup­port” I mean sit­ting on the same side of the table as some­one else, being able to empathize and to respect the per­son­’s dig­ni­ty and indi­vid­u­al­i­ty. It means serv­ing as an advo­cate who gen­uine­ly believes in this per­son and is will­ing to help, even if it involves chal­leng­ing feed­back and straight talk. To me, […]

How to Talk to Each Other About Each Other

Over the years, work­ing with both indi­vid­u­als and teams, the chal­lenge recre­ates itself again and again: we fail to talk to each oth­er about each oth­er. We’d rather han­dle what­ev­er dif­fi­cul­ties we face in our rela­tion­ships at work in almost any oth­er way. “Sep­a­rate the prob­lem from the peo­ple,” says the guru, yet I’m here […]


Car­men and I hur­ried­ly zip our jack­ets and hun­ker down in the cold while I strug­gle to attach my cam­era to the tri­pod and put on the right fil­ter. Horse­tail Falls in the Colum­bia Gorge must be per­pet­u­al­ly in win­ter shade for Car­men notices how some of the mist com­ing off the falls turns to […]