![](\"http:\/\/farm3.static.flickr.com\/2288\/2227792394_91cd401a4d_o.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nLet me share how the mod\u00adel works before com\u00ading back to my def\u00adi\u00adn\u00adi\u00adtion of reflec\u00adtive leadership.<\/p>\n
When you and I share com\u00admon per\u00adcep\u00adtions, trust and com\u00admu\u00adni\u00adca\u00adtion are like\u00adly to be high\u00ader, our con\u00adver\u00adsa\u00adtions are more open, and our prob\u00adlem-solv\u00ading is eas\u00adi\u00ader. This area, where \u201cwhat I know about myself\u201d and \u201cwhat oth\u00aders know about me\u201d are the same is called the Are\u00adna.<\/strong> For exam\u00adple, I know my eyes are brown and by look\u00ading at me you can see that that is so. We don\u2019t dis\u00adagree over this fact. Sim\u00adi\u00adlar\u00adly, if our sub\u00adjec\u00adtive judg\u00adments are the same \u2014 for instance if you believe I am intel\u00adli\u00adgent and I see myself as intel\u00adli\u00adgent, too \u2014 our rela\u00adtion\u00adship and com\u00admu\u00adni\u00adca\u00adtions are like\u00adly to be quite open around this point. <\/p>\n How\u00adev\u00ader, if what I think about myself is dif\u00adfer\u00adent than what oth\u00aders think of me, my rela\u00adtion\u00adships could be affect\u00aded by my Blindspot.<\/strong> Per\u00adhaps I see myself as very open-mind\u00aded and inter\u00adper\u00adson\u00adal\u00adly sen\u00adsi\u00adtive, but oth\u00aders do not see me this way. If I am con\u00adfront\u00aded about this dif\u00adfer\u00adence two things are like\u00adly to hap\u00adpen: I will react emo\u00adtion\u00adal\u00adly and defen\u00adsive\u00adly, and I will like\u00adly exhib\u00adit the very behav\u00adiors that con\u00adfirm the nature of the Blind Spot (e.g., you sug\u00adgest to me I am insen\u00adsi\u00adtive to your feel\u00adings and I react in a way that dis\u00adplays this insen\u00adsi\u00adtiv\u00adi\u00adty). This is the area of denial \u2014 where we can\u2019t see what we can\u2019t see, poten\u00adtial\u00adly caus\u00ading mis\u00adun\u00adder\u00adstand\u00adings, mis\u00adtrust, and \u201cundis\u00adcuss\u00adables\u201d in our rela\u00adtion\u00adships with one another.<\/p>\n The third area, the Facade,<\/strong> reflects what I know about myself that I keep hid\u00adden and choose not to share. I might not want to dis\u00adclose, for exam\u00adple, that I was fired from my last job, so in my rela\u00adtion\u00adships with my new co-work\u00aders I avoid con\u00adver\u00adsa\u00adtions that could lead to ques\u00adtions about my for\u00admer work his\u00adto\u00adry. I might even lie about what hap\u00adpened if asked direct\u00adly. Oth\u00ader aspects that we keep hid\u00adden include our pri\u00advate opin\u00adions of oth\u00aders or judg\u00adments that feel too risky to share. I may not share open\u00adly my per\u00adcep\u00adtions of my boss\u2019s insen\u00adsi\u00adtiv\u00adi\u00adty. In this way, my<\/em> facade may have some\u00adthing to do with your<\/em> Blind Spot (and also, per\u00adhaps, my own!)<\/p>\n Final\u00adly, the fourth area, the Unknown,<\/strong> reflects shared lack of aware\u00adness. It rep\u00adre\u00adsents pure poten\u00adtial that is con\u00adstant\u00adly in a process of evo\u00adlu\u00adtion and emer\u00adgence. This is an area of great mys\u00adtery, accessed through our intu\u00aditions, feel\u00adings, dreams, med\u00adi\u00adta\u00adtions, and spir\u00adi\u00adtu\u00adal or artis\u00adtic self-inquiries. You know it when you see it. For instance, an acquain\u00adtance starts behav\u00ading in ways that sug\u00adgests he is \u201cnot quite him\u00adself\u201d \u2014 and he agrees with you and also real\u00adly does\u00adn\u2019t know why he is behav\u00ading as he is. That\u2019s the Unknown show\u00ading up.<\/p>\n The Goal<\/strong><\/p>\n The Are\u00adna clar\u00adi\u00adfies the fun\u00adda\u00admen\u00adtal inter\u00adper\u00adson\u00adal goal of reflec\u00adtive lead\u00ader\u00adship with the oth\u00ader panes defin\u00ading key tasks to achiev\u00ading it. The Are\u00adna is the place where our shared under\u00adstand\u00ading of our\u00adselves puts us in real and gen\u00aduine con\u00adtact with one anoth\u00ader, intel\u00adlec\u00adtu\u00adal\u00adly, emo\u00adtion\u00adal\u00adly, and spir\u00adi\u00adtu\u00adal\u00adly, and there\u00adfore gives us the capac\u00adi\u00adty to cre\u00adate a com\u00admon vision for change. Out of this con\u00adtact comes a rich sense of who we are for one anoth\u00ader; our assump\u00adtions about our\u00adselves, oth\u00aders, and the sys\u00adtems with\u00adin which we oper\u00adate; how much we will trust and col\u00adlab\u00ado\u00adrate with one anoth\u00ader; our self-inter\u00adests, needs, and desired pay\u00adoffs; and how we will deploy our sep\u00ada\u00adrate gifts toward a com\u00admon end. Our indi\u00advid\u00adual and shared self-knowl\u00adedge becomes our shared capac\u00adi\u00adty to lead. Reflec\u00adtive lead\u00aders are inten\u00adtion\u00adal around this goal and intense\u00adly con\u00adscious of the lev\u00adel at which they are con\u00adnect\u00ading with others.<\/p>\n Cre\u00adat\u00ading a wide-open Are\u00adna with oth\u00aders varies in the time and effort we choose to give to it. Once in awhile you or I find a spon\u00adta\u00adneous sense of com\u00admu\u00adnion (of com\u00admu\u00adni\u00adty) with anoth\u00ader per\u00adson. When that hap\u00adpens, it can be a lit\u00adtle sur\u00adpris\u00ading, pret\u00adty much like find\u00ading a new friend, whether or not that friend\u00adship lasts a life\u00adtime or only for a few moments. In oth\u00ader cas\u00ades, that con\u00adnec\u00adtion is a task that is con\u00adscious\u00adly and inten\u00adtion\u00adal\u00adly worked at in the way the part\u00adners of a busi\u00adness or of a mar\u00adriage work at it, con\u00adstant\u00adly deep\u00aden\u00ading to find a way through the thick\u00adets of past con\u00addi\u00adtion\u00ading and pri\u00advate his\u00adto\u00adries. Some\u00adtimes those \u201cthick\u00adets\u201d turn out to be con\u00adti\u00adnents. No mat\u00adter, the goal is to tru\u00adly \u201cmeet\u201d the oth\u00ader, and that inevitably dri\u00adves the reflec\u00adtive leader to access each of the three oth\u00ader tasks implied by the oth\u00ader panes of the Johari Window.<\/p>\n The Tasks<\/strong><\/p>\n The reflec\u00adtive lead\u00ader\u00adship task asso\u00adci\u00adat\u00aded with the Blindspot is under\u00adstand\u00ading per\u00adson\u00adal impact.<\/em> We are all prone to be unaware of some aspects of our\u00adselves and to defend against aware\u00adness. The quest for self-knowl\u00adedge can take us on a jour\u00adney through the under\u00adworld of per\u00adson\u00adal demons we would real\u00adly rather avoid. But fail\u00ading to take that jour\u00adney restricts our capac\u00adi\u00adties to move in the world and pos\u00adi\u00adtive\u00adly influ\u00adence our sur\u00adround\u00adings. A leader who does not know about what oth\u00aders see and know about him or her is uncon\u00adscious\u00adly build\u00ading a tightrope for oth\u00aders to walk or set\u00adting up a labyrinth for them to find their way through. What is not seen, and what facil\u00adi\u00adtates gen\u00aduine aware\u00adness is not only nam\u00ading the blind spot but also under\u00adstand\u00ading its full impact. For exam\u00adple, if I have trou\u00adble accept\u00ading myself (but don\u2019t acknowl\u00adedge it), I may be prone to being swayed by oth\u00aders who ques\u00adtion my judg\u00adments. My being swayed by oth\u00aders inap\u00adpro\u00adpri\u00adate\u00adly then has an effect: I can\u2019t be trust\u00aded in my deci\u00adsions because it seems that my deci\u00adsions change too eas\u00adi\u00adly and are based on who I last talked to. Or, on the oth\u00ader side of that coin, if I have trou\u00adble keep\u00ading an open mind because I don\u2019t ques\u00adtion myself enough (and don\u2019t acknowl\u00adedge that), I may also lose trust, dri\u00adving peo\u00adple to stay away from me to under\u00admine the deci\u00adsions I have made. Depend\u00ading on the size of an orga\u00adni\u00adza\u00adtion or change effort, these impacts of a lead\u00ader\u2019s blindspots mul\u00adti\u00adply their effects. The for\u00adtunes of a For\u00adtune 100 com\u00adpa\u00adny, let alone a small\u00ader enter\u00adprise, can be eas\u00adi\u00adly thrown off. A reflec\u00adtive leader always wants to know how an enter\u00adprise or change effort is a reflec\u00adtion of per\u00adson\u00adal style. \u201cHow is this thing I\u2019ve found\u00aded and cre\u00adat\u00aded over the years,\u201d a small busi\u00adness own\u00ader might ask, \u201clim\u00adit\u00aded by who I<\/em> am?\u201d A reflec\u00adtive leader will ask for per\u00adson\u00adal feed\u00adback con\u00adstant\u00adly and look for the pat\u00adterns that get in the way. That leader intu\u00aditive\u00adly knows that dis\u00admiss\u00ading the impor\u00adtance of per\u00adson\u00adal blindspots is pre\u00adcise\u00adly what gives those blindspots their pow\u00ader and effect in the world. The worst case is the leader who believes he or she has no blindspots. This is dis\u00adas\u00adter in the making.<\/p>\n A sec\u00adond task of reflec\u00adtive lead\u00ader\u00adship is authen\u00adtic\u00adi\u00adty,<\/em> the prac\u00adtice of \u201cshow\u00ading up\u201d in a way that is gen\u00aduine and true and real as a per\u00adson. The facade rep\u00adre\u00adsents the cho\u00adsen lim\u00adits of authen\u00adtic\u00adi\u00adty. Most of us are good at hold\u00ading infor\u00adma\u00adtion pri\u00advate, includ\u00ading infor\u00adma\u00adtion that might be very use\u00adful to oth\u00aders, as a way to pro\u00adtect our\u00adselves and we, frankly, are not alto\u00adgeth\u00ader aware of how hid\u00adden we may be. We live in an imper\u00adfect world and need to be savvy. We enjoy and even envy at moments the child\u2019s refresh\u00ading naivete in speak\u00ading her mind or ask\u00ading ques\u00adtions but we\u2019ve learned as adults, almost as a sec\u00adond nature, there may be a cost to per\u00adson\u00adal open\u00adness. Some of this is appro\u00adpri\u00adate, some not. A reflec\u00adtive leader is high\u00adly aware of the point when that lack of per\u00adson\u00adal open\u00adness becomes a pat\u00adtern of dys\u00adfunc\u00adtion\u00adal com\u00admu\u00adni\u00adca\u00adtion, when what he or she is not say\u00ading gets in the way of the very changes he or she would like to bring about or is oth\u00ader\u00adwise incon\u00adgru\u00adent with close\u00adly held per\u00adson\u00adal val\u00adues. The reflec\u00adtive leader opens the dif\u00adfi\u00adcult con\u00adver\u00adsa\u00adtions that peo\u00adple in rela\u00adtion\u00adship need to have, mod\u00adels a con\u00adnec\u00adtive, respect\u00adful vul\u00adner\u00ada\u00adbil\u00adi\u00adty, and shows not only that such con\u00adver\u00adsa\u00adtions are \u201csur\u00adviv\u00adable\u201d but that they are frankly essen\u00adtial to the sur\u00advival of rela\u00adtion\u00adships (and per\u00adhaps the enter\u00adprise, too).<\/p>\n Final\u00adly, the third task is to enter the Unknown. Above all this is the spir\u00adi\u00adtu\u00adal task of indi\u00advid\u00adual growth into poten\u00adtials that have not yet come into per\u00adson\u00adal or group con\u00adscious\u00adness. This is the task of find\u00ading one\u2019s call\u00ading and des\u00adtiny<\/em> where the unique mean\u00ading of one\u2019s life and work becomes man\u00adi\u00adfest and is con\u00adscious\u00adly expe\u00adri\u00adenced. The words here are cum\u00adber\u00adsome because enter\u00ading the Unknown is the place where choice com\u00adbines with an inar\u00adtic\u00adu\u00adlate some\u00adthing pre-exist\u00ading, an \u201cacorn\u201d that a per\u00adson expe\u00adri\u00adences with\u00adin that becomes through the course of a life-time the oak tree that is \u201cmeant to be.\u201d A reflec\u00adtive leader takes the task of unearthing this acorn seri\u00adous\u00adly, know\u00ading that it is only through this dis\u00adcov\u00adery that he or she will find real joy and ful\u00adfill\u00adment and have the sta\u00admi\u00adna to lead in the world.<\/p>\n A leader who becomes cen\u00adtered in the goal of con\u00adnec\u00adtion, who is open to learn\u00ading about his or her blindspots, who sees through his or her own per\u00adson\u00adal facades and leads into need\u00aded, pow\u00ader\u00adful con\u00adver\u00adsa\u00adtions, who gives time and effort to dis\u00adcov\u00ader\u00ading the per\u00adson\u00adal mean\u00adings of work and life \u2014 that per\u00adson can be said to lead reflectively. <\/p>\n There is so much more that could be voiced about any of these points as parts of the def\u00adi\u00adn\u00adi\u00adtion of reflec\u00adtive lead\u00ader\u00adship. But for today, it is enough \u2014 a good start.<\/p>\n ADDENDUM<\/span><\/strong> <\/p>\n A few moments ago, a friend sug\u00adgest\u00aded a call to action that needs to be includ\u00aded here: \u201cThink of one action you could take today to prac\u00adtice what I\u2019ve sug\u00adgest\u00aded in this post and let me know how it went.\u201d <\/p>\n This is a great idea. So if you have a mind to, please email me<\/a> or sim\u00adply com\u00adment below!<\/p>\n The oth\u00ader day I was throw\u00ading around the words, \u201creflec\u00adtive lead\u00ader\u00adship\u201d when a client stopped me and asked me to explain exact\u00adly what I meant. I found myself using a fami\u00adlar tool in the human devel\u00adop\u00adment field, the Johari Win\u00addow, cre\u00adat\u00aded by Joe Luft and Har\u00adry Ing\u00adham in 1955. The mod\u00adel is a way to\u2026 Con\u00adtin\u00adue read\u00ading What is Reflec\u00adtive Leadership?<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"wp_typography_post_enhancements_disabled":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-171","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reflective-leadership","entry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/171","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=171"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/171\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5773,"href":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/171\/revisions\/5773"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=171"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=171"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=171"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/a><\/p>\nTechnorati Tag: Reflective Leadership<\/h6>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"