{"id":81,"date":"2006-08-05T18:38:30","date_gmt":"2006-08-05T06:38:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/?p=81"},"modified":"2010-09-28T18:54:55","modified_gmt":"2010-09-29T01:54:55","slug":"can-people-change","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/?p=81","title":{"rendered":"Can People Change?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hear me read this post.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Because I teach oth\u00aders coach\u00ading skills, I am often asked, \u201cDo you think peo\u00adple real\u00adly can change?\u201d If there is time for a dis\u00adcus\u00adsion, I may reply with my own ques\u00adtion, \u201cWell, do you think you<\/em> can change?\u201d Par\u00adtic\u00adi\u00adpants are com\u00admon\u00adly unde\u00adcid\u00aded, and even if they see them\u00adselves as able to do so, may not see that same poten\u00adtial in oth\u00aders. \u201cYes and no,\u201d they often answer hon\u00adest\u00adly. A com\u00admon response is: \u201cWell, I\u2019ve made some changes, but fun\u00adda\u00admen\u00adtal\u00adly I am who I am.\u201d <\/p>\n

Psy\u00adche, the Greek word for soul, is also the word for \u201cbut\u00adter\u00adfly.\u201d And but\u00adter\u00adflies, of course, don\u2019t just change; they trans\u00adform. They become a new kind of crea\u00adture. So I want to alter the ques\u00adtion. It\u2019s not, \u201cCan peo\u00adple change?\u201d It\u2019s \u201cDo peo\u00adple trans\u00adform?\u201d Is there a sim\u00adi\u00adlar human expe\u00adri\u00adence like that of the but\u00adter\u00adfly\u00ad\u2019s? I would say not one but many. We are trans\u00adformed con\u00adstant\u00adly sim\u00adply by growth and the things hap\u00adpen\u00ading to us. We are always deal\u00ading with new life sit\u00adu\u00ada\u00adtions while we are los\u00ading oth\u00aders. New jobs, new loca\u00adtions, pro\u00admo\u00adtions to more exposed lead\u00ader\u00adship roles, big assign\u00adments, big fail\u00adures \u2014 all these expe\u00adri\u00adences can be trans\u00adform\u00ading. Like mar\u00adriage, divorce, chil\u00addren, ill\u00adness or death of a loved one, these are expe\u00adri\u00adences that cre\u00adate new exter\u00adnal real\u00adi\u00adties, in turn forc\u00ading us out of com\u00adfort\u00adable pat\u00adterns, shift\u00ading how we think about our\u00adselves and our world. <\/p>\n

And it is these expe\u00adri\u00adences col\u00adlec\u00adtive\u00adly, that may<\/em> be cat\u00ada\u00adlysts for the over\u00adall trans\u00adfor\u00adma\u00adtion of an indi\u00advid\u00adual into the per\u00adson he or she is meant to be. Bill Bridges<\/a>, a famous writer on help\u00ading peo\u00adple in orga\u00adni\u00adza\u00adtions deal with imposed change, makes the valu\u00adable point that change is dif\u00adfer\u00adent from tran\u00adsi\u00adtion<\/em>. Change, says Bridges, is the event: the new com\u00adput\u00ader sys\u00adtem, the lay\u00adoffs, the merg\u00ader. Tran\u00adsi\u00adtion, by com\u00adpar\u00adi\u00adson, is the psy\u00adcho\u00adlog\u00adi\u00adcal process of adapt\u00ading to the change, a process that occurs in pre\u00addictable emo\u00adtion\u00adal stages. <\/p>\n

What I want to do is add anoth\u00ader whole lay\u00ader, cre\u00adat\u00ading the notion that there are real\u00adly three pieces: change, tran\u00adsi\u00adtion, and trans\u00adfor\u00adma\u00adtion, with trans\u00adfor\u00adma\u00adtion being the way a per\u00adson unfolds and becomes him-or her\u00adself over time as a result of going through tran\u00adsi\u00adtions of all kinds. And I would say it is the nature of the trans\u00adfor\u00adma\u00adtion that is real\u00adly cru\u00adcial, espe\u00adcial\u00adly in con\u00adtexts where there is a call to lead others.<\/p>\n

What is this transformation?<\/p>\n

There are many ways to describe it. Some see it as a search for per\u00adson\u00adal whole\u00adness or heal\u00ading. Some as a hero\u00adic quest. Psy\u00adcho\u00adlog\u00adi\u00adcal thinkers such as James Hill\u00adman <\/a>describ\u00ading love\u2019s tor\u00adtures, see the chal\u00adlenge as one of soul-mak\u00ading.<\/em> Talk\u00ading about trans\u00adfor\u00adma\u00adtion requires us to give up lit\u00ader\u00adal\u00adism in favor of poetic\/symbolic words and images. A pic\u00adture of a water\u00adfall may say more about what tran\u00adfor\u00adma\u00adtion is than any lan\u00adguage can do justice. <\/p>\n

\"DSC_0003\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The water\u00adfall is appro\u00adpri\u00adate because trans\u00adfor\u00adma\u00adtion is more about sur\u00adren\u00adder than achieve\u00adment, an expe\u00adri\u00adence of \u201cgoing over the falls.\u201d Nick Smith at Life 2.0, recent\u00adly described tran\u00adscen\u00addence<\/a> in just this way, as a gift to be received rather than a project. <\/p>\n

The ques\u00adtion is whether we can actu\u00adal\u00adly allow our\u00adselves to be trans\u00adformed by our expe\u00adri\u00adences, both the good ones and bad ones. And whether that tran\u00adfor\u00adma\u00adtive process allows us to see more of who we are or less, whether it opens our eyes to our own real pos\u00adsi\u00adbil\u00adi\u00adties and the pos\u00adsi\u00adbil\u00adi\u00adties held by oth\u00aders. When the chal\u00adlenges are great, when we burn with frus\u00adtra\u00adtion and big ques\u00adtions of \u201cwhy me?\u201d or feel we are on the edge of los\u00ading every\u00adthing impor\u00adtant, can that moment lead to deep\u00ader under\u00adstand\u00ading and new kinds of respons\u00ades? Lead\u00ading well, I believe, depends on it. Joe McCarthy at Gump\u00adtion<\/a> defines lead\u00ader\u00adship as \u201cmod\u00adel\u00ading and com\u00admu\u00adni\u00adca\u00adtion of pas\u00adsion\u00adate com\u00admit\u00adment to an inspir\u00ading goal, prin\u00adci\u00adple or path.\u201d That very com\u00admit\u00adment would seem to demand exact\u00adly an essen\u00adtial sur\u00adren\u00adder by the leader to how she or he will be trans\u00adformed. And this sur\u00adren\u00adder will be vast\u00adly more impor\u00adtant that any attempt by the leader to change oth\u00aders. The trans\u00adform\u00ading leader lets go of that desire in favor of sup\u00adport\u00ading oth\u00aders\u2019 own transformations. <\/p>\n

The but\u00adter\u00adfly image is apt. It\u2019s been<\/em> apt for thou\u00adsands of years. Trans\u00adfor\u00adma\u00adtion in one aspect is the chem\u00adi\u00adcal change from cater\u00adpil\u00adlar to but\u00adter\u00adfly. But in anoth\u00ader it is hold\u00ading out your palm and allow\u00ading the but\u00adter\u00adfly to land. If you try to grab it, sure\u00adly it will be gone. To grab it, smoth\u00ader it, pos\u00adsess it means that you can no longer fol\u00adlow it. It means that open\u00ading up to your own authen\u00adtic\u00adi\u00adty, your own Self can no longer occur. We don\u2019t become con\u00adscious co-cre\u00adators of the world (as Jean Hous\u00adton<\/a> would say) with\u00adout greater capac\u00adi\u00adties for love and greater con\u00adnec\u00adtions to our own courage, strength, and wis\u00addom. And that, to me, all depends on not try\u00ading to trap and final\u00adize the trans\u00adfor\u00adma\u00adtion any more than we can own anoth\u00ader person.<\/p>\n

I have been priv\u00adi\u00adleged to watch peo\u00adple go through trans\u00adfor\u00adma\u00adtive moments. I recall a very good man\u00adag\u00ader decid\u00ading to leave her orga\u00adni\u00adza\u00adtion in order to go do the work that is her true Voca\u00adtion. She was a lit\u00adtle scared about com\u00ading out of that cocoon, let\u00adting her wings dry. It was a holy moment, real\u00adly, and a priv\u00adi\u00adlege to be with her as she crossed the line from cater\u00adpil\u00adlar to but\u00adter\u00adfly. She asked me, \u201cDo you think the but\u00adter\u00adfly remem\u00adbers being the caterpillar?\u201d <\/p>\n

What a won\u00adder\u00adful ques\u00adtion because to answer it I had to remem\u00adber my own trans\u00adfor\u00adma\u00adtions! And yes, I think the answer is yes, the but\u00adter\u00adfly does remem\u00adber. At least just for a moment before she takes flight.<\/p>\n

Technorati Tags: Transformation<\/a>. Link to blog posting<\/a>. Link to Oestreich Associates website<\/a>.<\/h6>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hear me read this post. Because I teach oth\u00aders coach\u00ading skills, I am often asked, \u201cDo you think peo\u00adple real\u00adly can change?\u201d If there is time for a dis\u00adcus\u00adsion, I may reply with my own ques\u00adtion, \u201cWell, do you think you can change?\u201d Par\u00adtic\u00adi\u00adpants are com\u00admon\u00adly unde\u00adcid\u00aded, and even if they see them\u00adselves as able\u2026 Con\u00adtin\u00adue read\u00ading Can Peo\u00adple Change?<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"wp_typography_post_enhancements_disabled":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-81","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-transformation","entry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=81"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2768,"href":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81\/revisions\/2768"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=81"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=81"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unfoldingleadership.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=81"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}