I want to add a comment or two about the shift from “dense” leadership to “self-conscious” leadership that I mentioned in my last posting. If any of us are to learn what leadership really is, to even know we are on a journey toward “transparency” (or whatever name you might choose to call the end-state), then somehow we have to pass through the stone wall that separates unconscious from conscious.
Again, dense leadership happens when someone for whatever reasons has power and influence over others, but is not interested in their own leadership self-development. At its worst, dense leadership ends up highly dominating, and if we give ourselves to it, the domination wounds us, personally and collectively. There are other kinds of bad leadership, other kinds of challenges all along the path, but this is the one that represents unconscious violence. Jay’s story of the leader who refers to his wife as an asset would be an example. When confronted with more information about the impact of such behaviors, the density of a leader’s spirit may prevent the person from seeing his or her impact. He or she may simply move into justifications, denials or counter-blaming behaviors that “kill the messenger.” I think of all the people in all the classes I have taught who seemed to be looking to me for something to use to motivate (aka control others) and who found self-knowledge a much less interesting topic. Over time I’ve learned simply to invite and offer when faced with this energy and also to avoid making negative assumptions that the spark is not or will never be there. If I did make this assumption, that would be part of my own density!
I do believe if we are to make progress, the only hope is to find the gate in the stone wall that leads from unconsciousness toward self-consciousness, especially awareness of impacts on others. This can be an unsettling passageway because it leads fundamentally to our capacities for self-confrontation — for looking at aspects of self that cause us and others discomfort. This is not easy work. There is doubt in it. A person can get frozen just by looking too narrowly, focusing only on the discovery of flaws, rather a more genuine self-consciousness that generates positive personal knowledge, presence, affirmation…and self-trust.
So my questions today are how the discovery of the gate in that stone wall happens. How do any of us as leaders wake up? What ciphers do we need? What triggers our active desire for self-discovery? Chance? Pain? Love? Challenge? Mystery? What causes us to notice that the gate has been there all along? What enables us to trust that our destinies lie in going through?
Here, indeed, are some questions to think about.
