Places of Refuge

I hap­pened on a copy of “Good Com­mu­ni­ca­tion That Blocks Learn­ing” by mas­ter busi­ness the­o­rist, Chris Argyris. Orig­i­nal­ly pub­lished in Har­vard Busi­ness Revew in 1994, I want­ed to see if I still agreed with Argyris’s per­spec­tive about how orga­ni­za­tion­al lead­ers impede the empow­er­ment of their man­agers and employ­ees. While I found that my respect for his insights was still very high, I was also dis­qui­et­ed by the arti­cle. Only four­teen years old, and writ­ten in the mid­dle of the Total Qual­i­ty Man­age­ment move­ment, the arti­cle gives a clean, no-non­sense assess­ment of the old par­a­digm that orga­ni­za­tion­al improve­ment should be based on employ­ees “edu­cat­ing man­age­ment” about prob­lems and man­age­ment respond­ing with fix­es. No doubt about it, Argyris is on point with his obser­va­tion that this is an old and ulti­mate­ly dis­em­pow­er­ing pat­tern based on the dys­func­tion­al, parent/child mind­set of employ­ee sat­is­fac­tion sur­veys. But I also felt some dis­tress with Argyris’s judg­ment that lead­ers should focus less on solv­ing the prob­lems that sur­faced in the sur­veys than on ques­tion­ing employ­ees about their own behav­ior, espe­cial­ly chal­leng­ing the employ­ees’ own account­abil­i­ty: why had­n’t they brought up these issues before? Why had­n’t they done some­thing about these prob­lems in advance of the survey?

These obser­va­tions by Argyris threw me back on my own deep beliefs that “empow­er­ment,” how­ev­er you wish to define that term, is best served not by shift­ing account­abil­i­ty, per se, but by shar­ing it and by defeat­ing the under­ly­ing pow­er dynam­ics and pat­terns that pre­vent gen­uine col­lab­o­ra­tion, par­tic­u­lar­ly the belief sys­tems sur­round­ing risks and why peo­ple don’t take them. I believe Argyris may have missed the sin­gle, most cru­cial aspect of why peo­ple at every lev­el of orga­ni­za­tions do not take risks to bring up the prob­lems they observe. This has to do with a par­tic­u­lar­ly neg­a­tive expe­ri­ence of expo­sure, shame, embar­rass­ment, guilt, shun­ning and/or dis­missal, the moth­er lode of per­son­al iso­la­tion called “career sui­cide” that stands behind our avoid­ance. As I read the arti­cle, I thought to myself: what Argyris is ask­ing employ­ees to do is absorb this night­mare, which is very close to the expe­ri­ence of break­ing — and pay­ing for — a pow­er­ful soci­etal taboo. 

As civ­i­lized indi­vid­u­al­ists, we tend to think we don’t have a sys­tem of taboos in our cul­ture, but in fact we do, and we hold onto them at a very per­son­al, often sub­con­scious or at least “undis­cuss­able,” lev­el. Pre­cise­ly because we are indi­vid­u­al­ists, what we expe­ri­ence when we face break­ing such a rule is incred­i­bly pow­er­ful and “inte­ri­or.” It is lit­er­al­ly a cliff, and we don’t jump from it willy-nilly. 

A taboo is a strong social pro­hi­bi­tion or ban relat­ing to any area of human activ­i­ty or social cus­tom declared as sacred and for­bid­den; break­ing of the taboo is usu­al­ly con­sid­ered objec­tion­able or abhor­rent by society.

New World Encyclopedia

The word, taboo, has Poly­ne­sian ori­gins; comes from the old kapu sys­tem where mak­ing the wrong ges­ture results in death, and there are many wrong gestures. 

The expe­ri­ence of break­ing an Amer­i­can social taboo is what Argyris’ arti­cle lacked for me, and in this way los­es its real­ism. In Amer­i­can busi­ness cul­ture, there is a very strong taboo about com­mu­ni­ca­tions that pre­vents such things as point­ing out direct­ly to lead­ers the prob­lems caused by them, pub­licly embar­rass­ing them or expos­ing them per­son­al­ly. Indi­rect com­mu­ni­ca­tions — as in talk­ing about lead­ers behind their backs — is the process by which we cope with this very strong taboo. Occa­sion­al­ly, the con­ver­sa­tion in the back­ground con­firms a broad­ly shared group per­cep­tion and results in the lead­er’s loss of cred­i­bil­i­ty, and this can be so pow­er­ful as to cause the leader to be fired or be forced to resign. This is the oth­er side of the taboo — the pow­er giv­en to the per­cep­tions of those behind the scenes. As my moth­er used to tell me, “A per­son can be killed as effec­tive­ly with words as with a knife.”

It’s impor­tant to under­stand just how pow­er­ful social taboos are and how dev­as­tat­ing the con­se­quences for break­ing them. A far more seri­ous penal­ty is involved than mere­ly tak­ing an “inter­per­son­al risk” that does­n’t work out. The expe­ri­ence can come close to a kind of social death; at least death in the form of being dis­cred­it­ed and sep­a­rat­ed and then left being to one­self with a near­ly indeli­ble inter­nal stamp. Nev­er­the­less we per­sist in believ­ing — and I think Argyris per­pet­u­ates this — that it is fun­da­men­tal­ly the employ­ees who do not speak up who are the real bar­ri­er to their own empow­er­ment. How­ev­er, in my opin­ion, this is like ask­ing for career sui­cide as a means of solv­ing the dilemma.

It seems to me a bet­ter answer is in learn­ing how to remove the pow­er of the taboo. That comes, I believe, through the process of being cleansed of it. There is much to this process both from the side of the mes­sen­ger and the side of the leader who receives infor­ma­tion about his or her involve­ment in the orga­ni­za­tion’s prob­lems. But per­haps I can give an analogy.

Recent­ly, I was in Hawaii on the Big Island and vis­it­ed The Place of Refuge, Pu’u Honua O Honau­nau. In ancient Hawai­ian soci­ety, if you broke the kapu and the penal­ty was death the only way to save your­self was to elude your pur­suers and reach the near­est puuhonua, or place of refuge. This could mean a dan­ger­ous flight over treach­er­ous lava fields or swim­ming with the sharks to get to the sacred place. There, the priests might cleanse and for­give you your crime. Once for­giv­en, you could then return to the community. 

I’m not sug­gest­ing we estab­lish “places of refuge” in orga­ni­za­tions (I think some HR Depart­ments have tried that and it does­n’t work). Rather, I believe we need to make the whole orga­ni­za­tion a kind of refuge. By this I mean that the orga­ni­za­tion real­ly func­tions as a com­mu­ni­ty so that each per­son los­es the fear of the taboo. One of the most “lead­er­ly” things a per­son can do is bring peo­ple into an envi­ron­ment that acknowl­edges we all need each oth­ers’ help, that we all make mis­takes, and that we all have fail­ings and raw parts of our­selves to keep work­ing on. This seems sim­ple enough at one lev­el — that we all have things to work on — but it is also a com­plex vision pre­cise­ly because it requires us to give up sim­ple solu­tions and sim­ple blame. What I’ve observed is that when peo­ple are giv­en a chance to move into their own ener­gy for growth and devel­op­ment and this is mod­eled by lead­ers, there is lit­tle need to be con­cerned about forc­ing account­abil­i­ty. Peo­ple want and will take respon­si­bil­i­ty but it will be indis­tin­guish­able from the lead­ers them­selves tak­ing respon­si­bil­i­ty since it will be about the for­ma­tion of a respon­si­ble com­mu­ni­ty. Peo­ple, no mat­ter what their posi­tion, will engage in process­es of self-exam­i­na­tion when they can find both an out­er and inner sanc­tu­ary. The chal­lenge is find­ing them both — in our rela­tion­ships with one anoth­er and with­in ourselves.

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By Dan Oestreich

I am a consultant, coach, facilitator and trainer supporting the growth and development of leaders and teams. For further information about my work and services, please access my Oestreich Associates website.

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