Category Archives: Shadow

What do I want?

What do I want? That’s almost as pow­er­ful a ques­tion as “Who am I?” For when we don’t express what we want in a true and heart-felt way — first and fore­most to our­selves — we lose a vital part of our joy in being exact­ly who we are. Iron­i­cal­ly, in a soci­ety that over-val­ues individualism, […]

The Tyranny of Being Right

It’s such an easy thing to fall into: the desire, the need, to be right. It cre­ates huge divides between us, dri­ves us to say and do things that cause oth­ers to either dis­en­gage or retal­i­ate. Lat­er, we may con­sole our­selves with the sat­is­fac­tion of win­ning but it’s pret­ty much a cold din­ner left on […]

Anatomy of a Conflict

Despite all the good advice about resolv­ing con­flict, per­haps best exem­pli­fied by Stephen Cov­ey’s famous line, “Seek first to under­stand, then to be under­stood,” peo­ple most­ly don’t. When the emo­tion of con­flict takes over and the high­er func­tion­ing parts of the brain have been hijacked, what we want is to be under­stood, to be seen […]

Wounded Society

So much already has been writ­ten about the shock­ing events at Penn State, often with jus­ti­fi­ably deep out­rage. I, too, want to wail. There are, after all, so many kinds of vic­tims: • the chil­dren • the fam­i­lies • the stu­dents • the play­ers • the fans • the com­mu­ni­ty • the coun­try • all of us […]