The Connection Between Thinking and Behavior

It isn’t always so clear how our think­ing dri­ves our behav­ior.  Some time ago I found myself work­ing with a lead­er­ship client who I’ll give the fic­ti­tious name, Michael. I asked him dur­ing one of our con­ver­sa­tions: “Michael, how do you feel about work­ing with your col­league, Jeff?” “Oh, Jef­f’s okay,” he said to me,… Con­tin­ue read­ing The Con­nec­tion Between Think­ing and Behavior

The Opposites of Empathy

Look­ing at nov­el­ist and essay­ist Leslie Jamison’s def­i­n­i­tions of empa­thy in the epi­graph to this post, some oppo­sites of empa­thy are eas­i­ly iden­ti­fied: not bring­ing and espe­cial­ly refus­ing to bring the dif­fi­cul­ties of oth­ers into the light; not inquir­ing, not both­er­ing to inquire or both­er­ing to tru­ly lis­ten or act; not being able to or… Con­tin­ue read­ing The Oppo­sites of Empathy

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Categorized as Choices

Using Projections to Gain Self-Knowledge

A pro­jec­tion hap­pens any­time some­one uncon­scious­ly places their own beliefs, desires, con­clu­sions or expe­ri­ences onto anoth­er per­son or group of peo­ple. In its pos­i­tive form, it may help us empathize with oth­ers, as we use our expe­ri­ence to imag­ine their real­i­ties. Unfor­tu­nate­ly, pro­jec­tion has a dark­er side and becomes less pos­i­tive when it serves as… Con­tin­ue read­ing Using Pro­jec­tions to Gain Self-Knowledge

Defensiveness is the Problem of Our Time

At a deep lev­el, self-reflec­­tion can be a bridge across trou­bled waters, a way to lib­er­ate our­selves from that most dam­ag­ing dis­ease to which lead­ers are prone – which is defen­sive­ness.  Defen­sive­ness is the instinct to pro­tect who and what we are.  While it is impor­tant to be able to defend one­self from unfair attacks, false nar­ra­tives, and… Con­tin­ue read­ing Defen­sive­ness is the Prob­lem of Our Time