The Unfolding That Cannot Be Contained

Before I move on to a post about the Third Prac­tice (Self-Care), I want to explore a ques­tion that has been sim­mer­ing for a cou­ple days in con­ver­sa­tions with my great friend and col­league, Jay How­ell. Our top­ic has been what we see hap­pen­ing to the word, “leader.” I have found it fas­ci­nat­ing that search­ing the web dis­clos­es so many ref­er­ences to lack of lead­er­ship as the cause of many prob­lems and yet it is also filled with fre­quent ref­er­ences to peo­ple who are called lead­ers — from politi­cians, to tech­no­log­i­cal inno­va­tors, to heads of orga­ni­za­tions, to man­agers and super­vi­sors, to sports and reli­gious fig­ures, to gen­er­als in the mil­i­tary, movers and shak­ers of all kinds, even facil­i­ta­tors of meet­ings, and right down to old fash­ioned war­lords — you name it. My sense is we throw around the term, leader, to describe almost any­body who hap­pens to be in a posi­tion of pow­er or influ­ence — from what­ev­er source.

For exam­ple, I might call you a leader because you have for­mal pow­ers of an impor­tant posi­tion — say Pres­i­dent of the Unit­ed States — but I may not real­ly believe you are one. So which is it? Are you or are you not a leader? And how is this judg­ment to be made? Well, this might just be a push-pull around “pow­er-base” ver­sus “qual­i­ties of the per­son.” But it can be more than con­fus­ing. Peter Block, some years ago, called for whole­sale dis­pos­al of the term in favor of “stew­ard”. And sure­ly there are whole groups of peo­ple who dis­like the word, leader, because cul­tur­al­ly its tra­di­tion­al shad­ow mean­ings include arro­gance, mis­treat­ment of oth­ers, con­trol, prej­u­dice and exclusion.

Instead of imme­di­ate­ly reach­ing for a hard and fast def­i­n­i­tion of what the word means — tempt­ing as that per­son­al­ly might be — I want to offer a sim­ple dis­tinc­tion: Lead­ers to me are a sub­set of peo­ple con­sid­ered to have pow­er. And when peo­ple com­plain about lack of lead­er­ship from their lead­ers, what they are say­ing is that their image and expec­ta­tion of how lead­ers ought to behave is not at par­i­ty with the lev­el of author­i­ty and influ­ence these peo­ple actu­al­ly pos­sess. It’s easy to con­fuse some­one who has pow­er for a leader.

And this can real­ly cause some pain.

But per­haps this can be valu­able pain if it actu­al­ly helps us turn to one anoth­er, and inter­nal­ly turn to our­selves, and ask the ques­tions. What is lead­er­ship beyond pow­er? If you take pow­er out — for­mal or infor­mal — per­son­al or orga­ni­za­tion — polit­i­cal or reli­gious — what is left that the word still stands for?

What we don’t actu­al­ly have is a word for some­one who has pow­er but is not oper­at­ing as a leader — except for very pejo­ra­tive terms (“dic­ta­tor,” “suck-up,” “sell-out,” “hack,” etc.) Some of that may be jus­ti­fied, but it also belies the fact there are many fine peo­ple who have acquired pow­er but who don’t, when they act, actu­al­ly lead. They may act to man­age or coor­di­nate or orga­nize or admin­is­ter, or fol­low what their “Board of Direc­tors” or social group or polit­i­cal con­stituen­cy wants them to do — and they may be very good at that in a cer­tain sense. They may be pleas­ing as col­leagues and know how to make oth­ers feel pret­ty good. They may have a strong moral sense but not be par­tic­u­lar­ly right­eous about it. They have a con­tri­bu­tion to make and are mak­ing it. But they do not have much con­scious­ness of lead­er­ship, what anoth­er great writer, Peter Koesten­baum, calls “lead­er­ship mind” and we don’t typ­i­cal­ly regard them as pos­sess­ing clas­sic lead­er­ship qual­i­ties such as “inspi­ra­tion.” Because of their lev­el of pow­er, the term “fol­low­er” also does not fit well, although to me these folks often seem to be employ­ees of some­body, good employ­ees and some­times very high­ly placed. Some of them run large orga­ni­za­tions with skill and are judged to be suc­cess­ful. And frankly, I think it is unfor­tu­nate that some­times they don’t get the cred­it they deserve for what they do — for what they are bring­ing, rather than what they lack.

All of this can push us back to try­ing to fig­ure out what the real, core traits of per­son­al lead­er­ship are and it dri­ves us to use terms like risk-tak­ing, cre­ativ­i­ty, integri­ty, and hav­ing a vision. But I sense it goes so much deep­er than that.

Lead­er­ship to me is a kind of rev­o­lu­tion of the soul. An inces­sant revolt that favors know­ing at the deep­est lev­els who I am and who we are (Self, not just self), what the tasks in this life­time are, what the poten­tials for con­tri­bu­tion are, and how we can touch, con­nect, and serve in what­ev­er small ways a pos­i­tive evo­lu­tion of the world and of con­scious­ness itself. An unfold­ing of spir­it that sim­ply can­not be con­tained. From this stand­point, my own sim­ple def­i­n­i­tion of a leader is any­body who wants to use their poten­tials to make a con­scious and pos­i­tive dif­fer­ence — but with a lot of empha­sis placed on that word, “con­scious.”

And I do believe that every­one holds the seeds of that con­scious­ness — some clos­er to the sur­face per­haps, some buried far­ther down. But they are there for any of us — if you can let your­self grow — and even if you are the Pres­i­dent of the Unit­ed States.

CannonBeach1

By Dan Oestreich

I am a consultant, coach, facilitator and trainer supporting the growth and development of leaders and teams. For further information about my work and services, please access my Oestreich Associates website.

7 comments

  1. Hel­lo Dan,

    I’ve been fol­low­ing the trail of recomen­da­tions lead­ing to your writ­ings, and it’s a delight to be here. I real­ly like your post and per­son­al def­i­n­i­tion of a leader, and I’m inclined to join some of your oth­er words to it. I think that beyond just “any­body who wants to use their poten­tials to make a con­scious and pos­i­tive dif­fer­ence”, a lead­er­er does so by “touch­ing, con­nect­ing, and serv­ing.” To me, it becomes obvi­ous when Pow­er and Lead­er­ship are being con­fused by look­ing at those that are sup­pos­ed­ly being “lead”. Is the “leader” touch­ing them, con­nect­ing with them, serv­ing them? Do the “fol­low­ers” feel con­nect­ed, touched and served by their leader… are they being lead by the Leader or are they giv­en orders and are sim­ply fol­low­ing the orders?

    Recent­ly I wrote about my own def­i­n­i­tion of Lead­er­ship… here’s a part i enjoy, “For me, lead­er­ship is great­ly about fol­low­ing and lis­ten­ing. My way of lead­ing involves a deep aware­ness of my sur­round­ings, accept­ing what is, and guid­ing and com­pan­ion­ing oth­ers in action and move­ment. Stay­ing in con­tact with and con­nect­ed to Self-Other-Spirit…Surrendering to pow­er that moves through and hon­or­ing the pow­er in all (as a means of tran­scend­ing the myth of con­trol and power-over).”

    Thanks for the forum to share these thoughts.

    warm­ly,
    ashley

  2. ash­ley

    Thank you for leav­ing this beau­ti­ful com­ment. Your words are pro­found. “Sur­ren­der­ing to pow­er that moves through and hon­or­ing the pow­er in all…” is espe­cial­ly mov­ing to me. It’s won­der­ful to make the connection.

  3. Mornin’ Dan

    A col­league just sent me a link to your site, think­ing I might be inter­est­ed. She was right. I am. Your reflec­tions on lead­er­ship in some ways mir­ror mine. As the leader of a local orga­ni­za­tion devot­ed to lead­er­ship devel­op­ment (LIOS-Lead­er­ship Insti­tute of Seat­tle) I seem to have been danc­ing with the ques­tion of lead­er­ship for a long time.

    I used to think that it was fun­da­men­tal­ly about the “Who”, the per­son in the role/function. If that per­son could become con­scious enough, and dis­ci­plined enough, they would then have the capac­i­ties need­ed to effec­tive­ly address the chal­lenges they faced, and in so doing encour­age oth­ers to fol­low. I still think that is true, and I just believe it is no longer enough.

    Giv­en what I know now I think it’s more a dance which involves a liv­ing system’s felt need to change and the mem­bers of that sys­tem being con­scious enough to be aware of the need, curi­ous enough to explore oth­er ways, coura­geous enough to take actions in ser­vice of the change, and com­pas­sion­ate enough for oth­er to fol­low. Each mem­ber of the sys­tem has the capac­i­ty and respon­si­bil­i­ty to both lead and fol­low in this dance in ser­vice of the system’s need.

    Those that we cur­rent­ly title lead­ers I think are, for the most part, man­agers. Their task being more about main­tain­ing what is rather than transforming.

    Mov­ing from a sin­gle point of account­abil­i­ty to a “dance” is a big leap (of faith?) and I think we as a species are some­where along that path. The result is that I think we are tend­ing to look for indi­vid­u­als who can do both, a com­bi­na­tion John/Jane Wayne and The Dali Lama. Luck­i­ly I think those folks are hard to find. If they were more preva­lent it would be a lot eas­i­er for me sit back and let them “be on point” rather than tak­ing my turn. 

    Of course, a dance metaphor rais­es ques­tions regard­ing the steps and the style and the music, but that’s for anoth­er time.

    Be Well,
    Dan Leahy

  4. Dan

    Thank you so much for stop­ping by! I love your insight that it is not just the indi­vid­ual any­more that we look to, but the whole sys­tem, as well. Again and again over the years of my work I have been con­front­ed by a dual real­i­ty: peo­ple hold­ing an ide­al for the sys­tem and need­ed changes and want­i­ng and wish­ing to par­tic­i­pate, and all of that counter-bal­anced by a restrict­ing sense of “them” and “us;” the them usu­al­ly being those with for­mal pow­er and posi­tion. I believe WE, all of us, are evolv­ing to new ground where this dynam­ic will yield to a much more refined sense of com­mu­ni­ty and the mutu­al lead­er­ship that is real­ly in our grasp. Again, thanks so much, and please return when you can.

  5. Jay’s Lead­er­ship Ram­ble #1

    Hi Dan, what great work you are doing here in your blog! Thanks for putting so much of your soul into think­ing about these ideas around leadership.

    As I reflect on “The Unfold­ing That Can­not Be Con­tained” and the com­ments you have received about it from Ash­ley and Dan L, I want­ed to add some more of my thoughts in the form of a “ramble”.

    As we have been talk­ing about lead­er­ship recent­ly, we have been try­ing to under­stand what peo­ple are say­ing when we hear a com­ment like, “what we need is more lead­er­ship” or “what’s lack­ing in our com­pa­ny is lead­er­ship”. Orga­ni­za­tions every­where have CEOs, pres­i­dents, VPs, man­agers. But the gen­er­al sense is – not enough lead­er­ship. So what is this damn thing — lead­er­ship? And if we can define it, will it help us under­stand this sense of lack of lead­er­ship in orga­ni­za­tions today? 

    I go back to my ear­ly expe­ri­ence of work. Like most of us, I had some jobs that were just mind­less affairs – you go in, some­one tells you what to do – you do it – you get paid. But ear­ly on in my work life, I began to dis­cern that work was (or could be) the activ­i­ties of a com­mu­ni­ty of peo­ple who had focused their ener­gy on accom­plish­ing some spe­cif­ic task, goal, what­ev­er. A com­mu­ni­ty of peo­ple focused on accom­plish­ing a task or goal – or a life long dream. Yeah, I like the sound of that. 

    It makes me think — when was the last time any of us expe­ri­enced a real sense of com­mu­ni­ty at work? I see glimpses of it now and then, but it’s most­ly lost in the noise and the rush to make the month­ly tar­gets, etc. (We could go into a whole thing here about “ego cen­tric” ver­sus “network cen­tric” orga­ni­za­tions – but, no. Anoth­er time.) What I hear and feel in orga­ni­za­tions today is a long­ing — a long­ing for a com­mu­ni­ty of peo­ple ded­i­cat­ed to the same goal or to some unar­tic­u­lat­ed sense of pur­pose. And if you reach into that long­ing a bit more, I think you find peo­ple long­ing to find mean­ing for their lives through the work they do. And I don’t just mean peo­ple who do impor­tant work like sav­ing lives – I mean peo­ple find­ing mean­ing for their lives by doing a good job as a gro­cery clerk, a flight atten­dant, an accoun­tant, a state work­er serv­ing their cus­tomers, a teacher, a sales per­son, etc. 

    Robert Bly used to talk about his obser­va­tion that a lot of men he met exhib­it­ed what he called “father hunger”. He saw men who he thought were hun­gry to con­nect with their dis­tant fathers. Well, I think peo­ple today have “community hunger”. They long to be with oth­ers whom they can trust to sup­port them, work with them, give them hon­est feed­back, be their friends, help them real­ize their dreams — as they strive togeth­er to accom­plish their some­thing they call “work”.

    If you can fol­low this ram­ble, you prob­a­bly know what‘s com­ing next. Is it real­ly pos­si­ble to cre­ate “community” in a work­place? Come on, Jay. Be real­is­tic. That’s great the­o­ry, but we are talk­ing real world here – real world busi­ness, real world results, real world risks, real world win­ners and losers. 

    Real­is­tic or not, I sense that many peo­ple want to feel a part of some­thing. They don’t just want to go to work and be part of a mean­ing­less com­pa­ny in which they are impris­oned to turn out some mind­less work. They want to con­nect their work, their aspi­ra­tion with their long­ing to make sense (mean­ing) of those efforts. I believe this in a deep place with­in myself. It’s true for me. I want to be part of a cor­pus – a community. 

    This, of course, takes me to some­thing that David Whyte said in The Heart Aroused: “The whole of west­ern cul­tur­al tra­di­tion is based on a pri­ma­ry inte­ri­or strug­gle: the essen­tial alone­ness of the indi­vid­ual, cou­pled with a wish to be part of some larg­er cor­po­rate body – lit­er­al­ly a cor­pus, a cor­po­ra­tion – to achieve things that would be impos­si­ble alone.” At Boe­ing, there is a great phrase about this. They say, “No body can build a 747 by themselves”. 

    David Whyte calls this a “primary inte­ri­or strug­gle”. Yeah, I think so. That’s how impor­tant it feels to me – it’s real­ly impor­tant that I be a part of some­thing so that I can give the gift I brought to this world. Then, David adds: “Bridging two impos­si­ble worlds, per­son­al des­tiny and imper­son­al orga­ni­za­tion, we find our­selves stand­ing in a half-dark, twi­light land between them both.” I know that half-dark, twi­light land he is talk­ing about. You can find it in any gleam­ing cor­po­rate sky­scraper or “campus” you go to. 

    But there is more. What does this long­ing for com­mu­ni­ty have to do with “the bot­tom line”? Sup­pose I can find a won­der­ful com­mu­ni­ty to work in. Can such a place make a prof­it? Can it be successful? 

    Well, let me tell you a quick sto­ry. One night I heard this guy talk, a for­mer accoun­tant, who was on fire about how it’s not about account­ing – it’s about bring­ing peo­ple togeth­er in com­mu­ni­ties. His name is H Thomas John­son. He teach­es at Port­land State Uni­ver­si­ty. He’s writ­ten sev­er­al books includ­ing Prof­it Beyond Mea­sure: Extra­or­di­nary Results through Atten­tion to Work and Peo­ple. Check him out. When you Google him, make sure you put in “H. Thomas John­son”. There are a lot of Thomas Johnson’s.

    Tom told of his long time study of Toy­ota and the com­par­i­son to the Amer­i­can car man­u­fac­tur­ers. An exam­ple — Ford has a Bumper fac­to­ry 500 miles from their truck man­u­fac­tur­ing plant. They ship bumpers to their assem­bly plant for “economies of scale”. Toy­ota makes indi­vid­u­al­ized bumpers for each truck in the same plant. Why? The Toy­ota plant wants the bumper mak­ers to be able to talk to the folks who assem­ble the trucks. They want their com­mu­ni­ty in one build­ing – not 500 miles away. (Tom John­son can explain this bet­ter than I can.) And is Toy­ota prof­itable? It takes Toy­ota two thirds the time to build the same truck as Ford. Accoun­tants, get your cal­cu­la­tors out. 

    So the ques­tion leads me back to “leadership”. I’m with Dan Leahy. Lead­er­ship is about being con­scious of the “dance of the liv­ing sys­tem” and help­ing it (the com­mu­ni­ty) become successful. 

    What is a leader in this con­text? A leader is a com­mu­ni­ty builder. She is some­one who sees the pos­si­bil­i­ties of an orga­ni­za­tion and helps the work­ing com­mu­ni­ty come togeth­er around that vision. He is some­one who lis­tens to the mem­bers of the com­mu­ni­ty and helps link the com­mu­ni­ty togeth­er so they can build the net­work that can make the vision real. She helps the com­mu­ni­ty make the vision real so that the mem­bers of the com­mu­ni­ty can give their gift to the world. 

    Enough ram­bling – back to work. Thanks, Dan, for let­ting me talk about this in your blog.

    Jay

  6. I’m find­ing so much that I read here inter­est­ing and help­ful, but it is all swirling around in the pri­mor­dial soup of my con­scious­ness. Some of the impact comes in a pow­er strug­gle I am hav­ing with my staff, who want me to define their tasks for them. I have coun­tered with…that’s not the mod­el for work­ing here…I need you to help me be orga­nized as we work toward agreed goals. Don’t put the mon­key on my back; don’t make me do all the work. That process is mov­ing for­ward in a very sat­is­fac­to­ry way. 

    In oth­er set­tings, I am begin­ning to feel less like the new kid and feel I can start adding some struc­ture to var­i­ous dis­cus­sions, that struc­ture’s goal being to sup­port open dia­log and solic­it con­tri­bu­tions from the whole group. It feels awk­ward to me that I have these group and project man­age­ment skills that oth­ers in the group do not have, yet I have no stand­ing as “leader.” Yet, as long as I don’t push too fast, group mem­bers seem grate­ful to have some tools pro­vid­ed. I guess in those set­tings, I am uncom­fort­able describ­ing myself as a “leader,” although I am bring­ing orga­ni­za­tion to a process. 

    At the same time, the vocab­u­lary of “com­mu­ni­ty build­ing” has pit­falls, too. In my office, yes, I am build­ing com­mu­ni­ty in that I am solic­it­ing the best con­tri­bu­tions from my team, includ­ing ideas on direc­tion, but I retain the ulti­mate say. Did I men­tion I have two ten-hour-a-week employ­ees who have been there six months? If they were there more time dur­ing the week, or as time goes on, I would accept more input from them as to goals and objec­tives, but since I am sole­ly respon­si­ble to the board, I’m not there yet. So it’s com­mu­ni­ty, but not com­plete­ly democratic.

    In the oth­er groups in which I am work­ing, the pow­er struc­ture is com­plete­ly demo­c­ra­t­ic, and I am sim­ply bring­ing some orga­ni­za­tion­al skills to the table. Is that com­mu­ni­ty devel­op­ment or leadership? 

    Final­ly, as I look across the broad spec­trum of peo­ple I work with, there is a philo­soph­i­cal and polit­i­cal empha­sis that even­tu­al­ly trumps the dis­cus­sion. Are we among those who believe in more gov­ern­ment, cre­at­ing struc­tures that spread around resources, pro­tect­ing the weak­est in our soci­ety. Or do we believe in less gov­ern­ment, accept­ing that dis­lo­ca­tions occur, believ­ing in each per­son­’s abil­i­ty and right to do what is right on his own–the little‑r repub­li­cans? As you might imag­ine, work­ing for a repub­li­can (lit­tle r) group in Ver­mont (a hotbed of reg­u­la­tion, resource real­lo­ca­tion and pro­tect­ing the weak­est) this issue comes up fre­quent­ly. I am not try­ing to intro­duce a big pol­i­tics capital‑R Repub­li­can ver­sus capital‑D Demo­c­rat, red state-blue state ele­ment into the con­ver­sa­tion, mere­ly to com­ment that there is a philo­soph­i­cal dif­fer­ence here that informs how we describe a leader. 

    I guess I am hav­ing some vocab­u­lary difficulties.

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