People who lead well never really do so out of authority, but out of their innate capacity for higher order skills — their ability to articulate a vision or a stand for something important, for example; or their ability to touch peoples’ hearts, or their capacity to interrupt assumptions in a way that is genuine and genuinely connects.
By breaking from the expected power of authority, they lead unexpectedly, freshly, unpredictably and well.
NightWave
Many years ago, when I worked for a municipality, I helped conduct a broad training effort on sexual harassment prevention for all the organization’s managers. As part of the sessions I always communicated the underlying principles of the program, principles that had to do with creating an open, affirming, trust-based workplace. At one of the sessions, as I spoke about the principles, I was interrupted by a manager who asked, “Dan, are these the City Manager’s principles, or are they your personal principles you are trying to enforce?” That brought a chuckle from the audience. The principles included thoughts like “creating a work environment where everyone can do their best work” and “actively building mutual respect.” The tone of the challenging question left no doubt that if these were the City Manager’s principles, they were worthy of consideration; if they were mine, well, not so much.
“We talked these exact principles over with the City Manager in advance of these sessions,” I replied, “and he was extremely clear that they mirrored the kind of workplace he wanted to see created.” The manager who asked the question seemed to acknowledge my rational response without much emotion, and the class went on. I finished the discussion about the principles without further comment.
I tell the story because I want you to see how I missed an opportunity to lead. At the time, of course, I thought I’d given the perfect (and predictable) response. It was like saying, “See, we know what we’re doing here — we asked the City Manager in advance. You tried to trip me up but my backside is covered. So now you have to listen, don’t you?”
I had used the authority of the City Manager and the authority of my own role as a trainer to create silent compliance. I’d “won” in the exchange — or at least I thought so at the time — but I missed the point of the question, you see, and a much better reply entirely. I could have opened up a much broader conversation about what the principles represented, why they’d been generated, what people in the session actually thought of them, regardless of who had created them or who approved of them. I might have used the moment to help the managers in the class to reflect on their own principles; what they believed, what kind of workplace they wanted to make, how they would do that, and how that fit or did not fit with the dynamics of harassment.
I was too young, too scared to notice, too intimidated by how leading, even leading a class, isn’t a role and how little it has to do with authority. I didn’t know yet that leading is an exchange, a stand, a conflict and a true dialogue — a deeper responsibility.
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May I know then, if given the chance, how would you have used that moment? I know you mentioned a few possibilities, such as opening the floor to discuss about the meaning behind the principles etc. Is the purpose of the open-ended nature of the discussion meant to stimulate further reflection and hence lead to an eventual buy-in that is more effective than a top-down, management-says-so approach can bring about?
By the way, I loved reading the article on reflective leadership. The Johari Window is so easy to understand, in no small part due to your lucid writing. Thanks!
Hi James
Yes, you are right, the open-ended nature of the discussion is exactly to stimulate reflection. The principles developed before the training were really nothing more than a starting point. Each person in that room was a leader and had an effect on the workplace culture. It was their leadership, not the City Manager’s or mine, that the session was about. So I would say that the discussion could have helped people more in thinking about their own leadership impacts and also their own goals for the kind of environment they wished to foster within their departments and teams. That could have led to healthy exchange of views and gotten more to the heart of what harassment in the workplace is and how it is supported or stopped. It would have generated, I believe, a discussion of their conjoint power to consciously build a more productive and humanistic workplace. In this sense, I would say the deeper goal was not just “buy-in” by the leaders, but ownership by them based on awareness and common understanding.
James, thanks so much for writing. I appreciate your question very much as it adds to the depth of what I was trying to say! Many best wishes to you.