By growth I mean a positive change in the effectiveness of a person in their leadership capacities.
This is actually harder to pull off than it sounds like it might be. We are built with strong, stabilizing internal mechanisms that show up as behavioral patterns etched into our personalities. To change that stuff means something fairly dramatic has happened, a major emotional event, or we've just been working at it for a long time. For most of us, whose lives probably aren't movie material, it'll be the second option.
Working with a recent client -- who had received some tough feedback about her impacts on others, feedback she didn't entirely agree with -- what emerged were five areas for introspection and distinct action. Looking back over these areas I found they might appeal as a kind of general template although, of course, everybody's different and needs something bespoke -- tailored just for them.
Ownership -- taking responsibility for ourselves, our work and presence with others. Ownership represents core motivational energy, metaphorically the gas in the car. Without it, whether it's about taking on a new task or addressing personal strengths and deficits, movement (growth) is impossible. It's always shocking to see how ownership can be so easily displaced when feedback is unfavorable; and how beautiful if painful when accepted.
Direction -- establishing an ongoing specific destination for self-development above and beyond facility in reaching work goals. Direction often represents a baseline inquiry, "Where am I going?" in a larger sense, framed as a personally unique, positive question such as "What is my real vision?" or "How do I truly connect with others?" or "How do I turn this setback into useful quest for learning?"
Feedback -- not just the capacity to give feedback, but skill in graciously asking for it and using the perspectives of others to learn about development progress and possibilities. Without taking the risk to ask for feedback we won't easily know if we are in fact making progress toward our destination.
Assumptions -- especially negative assumptions about others and about self that complicate and interfere with working relationships. Negative assumptions form the "baggage" that can weigh down our journeys. We need to let them go, often in the face of habitual and conditioned old patterns of thought and emotion.
Triggered behaviors -- developing strategies to understand and manage reactivity. It's inevitable that there will be "accidents" and "required repairs" along the way. We must be able to evaluate them, learn from them and work to prevent them from derailing us.
These topics can be viewed as a sequence of interconnected learning opportunities. All depend on expanding our capacities for introspection and trust-based relationships with others, balancing our instincts to serve the task with our instincts to serve the people.
How then to make the learning applied? In my client's case, after an hour's discussion of each area she wrote up a long personal reflection of what the topic meant to her in her current circumstances. The beauty of that process was that as each successive conversation occurred (one week apart) it created an opportunity to relate the topic to all that came before. Conducted in the order listed here, the conversations became richer and the questions more vulnerable and true to the issues she faced as the sequence unfolded.
Growth is never guaranteed from conversation alone but there are certainly times in my profession as coach and consultant when I can feel growth happening, happening right now. It happens within the personal chamber of a client's real mindset and true feelings. It is for them and by them, a profound and humble moment in the daily work of human being.
